-has major meltdown and explodes-
I went to the Health Center the other day, they prescribed me xanax and celexa. The xanax is great. I’d rather not take the celexa since it apparently really hinders your libido and/or your ability to have an orgasm….
I’m too young to for sexual dysfunction. But really my depression and anxiety are getting really fucking bad. I don’t even think I can finish this semester, which is terrifying because my family would equate me taking a semester off with me dropping out of school. That’s not what I want, at all. But I don’t want to stay here and fuck up, have that reflect on my GPA and have it actually ruin shit for me later. I spoke to the dean of my school and my advisor and they both assured me that taking a semester off would not be the end of my life. My dean was actually really encouraging, he apparently thinks really highly of me because I still managed get awesome grades despite what happened with my mom last semester. But here’s the thing, when I came back to school last semester I was still in shock. Now…..it’s hard for me to adjust.
Other aspects of my life suck. My anxiety is like at an all time high.
When I was coming back up to school on Monday night Shortline managed to lose my suitcase with pretty much my entire suitcase…..easily $600 worth of clothes. Probably more. And everyone keeps telling me to relax but yo…I don’t own that much in the way of clothing. That was like all I had, clothes I’ve had for years, just fucking gone.
It’s stressful as fuck. My life is just overwhelming and I’m not sure I can handle it right now. Maybe I should take the pills and wait it out at school….maybe I should just take a semester off. I don’t know.
This shit sucks.
I have the sickest feeling in my stomach and it’s been there for weeks.
Also I’m like two panic attacks away from a full on breakdown.
Wow, college is just soooooooooooo great.
So on Tuesday I received my purchases from PLNDR, a dope black sweatshirt that reads “comme des fuckdown” (lol clever, I know) and some NICE ass jeans from Orisue. So I’ve been waiting for about a week so I can rock them all nicely or whatever but guess what?
Since Wednesday it’s been like seventy degrees up here in Ithaca, and it’s going to be hot for like the next week and a half. SO I CAN’T WEAR MY NICE, NEW CLOTHES TIL GOD KNOWS WHEN!
THANK YOU ITHACA. FOR HAVING BIPOLAR ASS WEATHER.
IT’S BEEN GREAT, REALLY.
On Fridays I work 8:00 PM to 1:30 AM in the sandwhich shop on campus.
On Sundays I work 6:00 AM to 9:00 AM in the bakery.
HELLO MINIMUM WAGE LIFE!
This is going to be so great
Lol I really don’t think I have any redeeming qualities………